C is for Confidence

Today’s letter is C and the topic is Confidence. Confidence is actually the most important factor underlying all flirting. It keeps your moves fun, rather than sleazy. If you have tons of confidence naturally, you are well on your way. If not, adopt the mantra – fake it ’til you make it. Tell yourself you are confident. Make yourself believe it.

Here’s what will happen: Your back will straighten. Your shoulders will push back. You will stand a little taller. Your arms will hang loosely. Try this pose where you convince yourself you are confident. Then cross your arms in front of yourself. See how you already feel less confident, and more confrontational? Now slump your shoulders deliberately. Do you still feel confident? You don’t look it.

A confident person walks more quickly than the average person, but blinks fewer times. Both of these moves are things you don’t normally think of, but try practicing them so they become body memories to you. (You don’t need to rush in a pushy way, nor should you stare. That’s why practice is helpful.)

Smiles are a different post, but remember this. A smile goes a long way toward expressing confidence and helping you actually feel more confident. Try it at a time when you don’t necessarily feel like smiling. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

People are drawn to confident people. Remember this fact if your goal is to attract someone.

A – The Art of Flirting

Flirting is more fun if you work at it.

Sounds illogical?

Think about it.

Anything is more fun if you work hard at it.

Let’s say you love to cook. Is it more fun to cook once you’ve mastered the rules and have collected a set of interesting recipes? The fun part is either duplicating the recipes or tweaking them to put your unique twist on them. Or would you have more fun opening the fridge, picking 12 items at random and throwing them into pots on the stove, turning on the heat, and crossing your fingers? (Okay, if you chose the second option, you need more help than I can give you here.)

To me, the fun part of cooking is either duplicating the recipes or tweaking them to put your unique twist on them.

Suppose you love to entertain. You wouldn’t expect to throw a successful party without doing some work beforehand. You might plan what food you would serve, choose a play list for music, put up some decorations, etc.

Flirting is no different than any other skill. But the good news is, if you do the work, you can reap the rewards.( And as long as you are doing the work, work smart.)

What does working smart mean? You follow the tried and true principles used by the accomplished flirts of the world. You don’t re-invent the playbook. You study what psychologists say about human nature and how we interact with each other. Or, you continue reading here where I have tips on flirting from A-Z.

And don’t forget to pass on any of your tips to our readers!